dealing with depression as a Christian

The clinical definition of depression is An illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts, that affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things.

According to medecine.net

According to dictionary.com depression is a

condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason.

The medical experts define the issue as an illness involving the emotion, will, and thought process of a person to the point of dejection or low spirit and admit that they do not understand the cause or have any real solution other than to mask the “illness” with a drug that changes the chemicals that produce joy/sadness. Other professionals teach that it is primarily emotional and can be dealt with by self-help and proactive steps. Some experts claim depression is a hereditary disease others a learned behavior. Honestly the only thing in my research that I can find that the experts agree on is that they disagree.

Now if you are thinking I don’t have this issue and about to disconnect or in this case quit reading I urge you to continue on for two reasons one I intend to link depression with lack and I don’t know anyone who can claim they don’t feel lack in some area. Two because about 12% of men and up to 25% of women suffer from depression during their lifetimes so chances are even if this info doesn’t directly apply to you at some point it will apply to someone you care about.

The first thing I want to make clear is depression is merely an effect 100% of the time there is an underlying cause. As someone who suffered through years of depression and suicidal thoughts/actions I want you to know that there is hope. It may not always be easy and it may not always be pretty but depression can be defeated.

Depression is not the cause but the effect of some underlying cause. In my experience this “cause” is always a lack mentality in some area. Be it a lack of confidence, lack of stability, lack of respect for oneself, lack of perceived respect from others, a lack of perceived support from others, lack of ability to understand the emotions one is experiencing, or any one or combination of a million other “lacks”.  Ultimately in my experience you will find that there is a lack of trust in God. A disconnect between you and the God who not only made you in his image, died to rescue you from torment, is a jealous lover of you but also and at this point most importantly is crying out for you to allow him into the fight.

The first thing as a Christian we need to understand is that Jesus is ready, able, and more than willing to join us in the fight for our thoughts. As a matter of fact he even instructs us to fight for our thought life. 2 Corinthians 10:5 is an over quoted scripture that seems to have lost its effect on us today. We are supposed to as a matter of fact Paul states boldly giving us a command to take every thought captive reminding us that our war is NOT of flesh and blood. This is a reminder that we are not fighting one another or even ourselves and a call not to forget that there is an unseen force in the devil that is fighting against every Christian.  Thank God that Paul also reminds us we as sons and daughters of Christ have a divine authority and power to destroy strongholds. The first step to destroying the stronghold of depression is to begin to take the thoughts of lack captive. And please do not stop at the thoughts that are easy to take captive do not stop at the obvious lies but allow yourself to get  uncomfortable searching out the not so easily spotted lies.

Keep track of your thought life and analyze any thought that is reoccurring especially during bouts with depression. If these thoughts in any way fail to line up with the word or God and his image of you as a Christian as one made in his image washed by his word made holy and righteous by his grace chances are you have just uncovered something that needs dealt with.

Secondly we have to begin to deal with the cause of these underlying issues.  This will most likely begin to occur as you actively take your thoughts captive and line each with the word of God. These thoughts of “lack”, areas you feel insufficient or perceived insufficiency are the result of something. I assure you that you did not wake up one day and decide that you were not smart enough, talented enough, that people don’t value your opinion, that you have no voice, that there is no reason for you to make an effort, ect. ect. Something as a friend of mine puts it “shattered your windshield” something has effected the way you see others the way you see yourself and the way you feel that others see you. Most often the event that caused the crack in your windshield of life seemed insignificant at the time, merely a sand chip that over time has escalated. Spend time reflecting and following these proverbial cracks back to their point of origin. I bet you will find that some of the most seemingly harmless comments or actions are at the other end. It may be a childhood friend who made jokes about your ability to do something, it may be a comment your parents made to you years ago, something your boss said to you 5 years ago, the way your spouse looks at you on occasion, even a joke you make about yourself to cover up an insecurity. Often you will find that there is no validity at all to the starting point it was merely a misunderstanding. Someone said something that caused you to put your guard up and somewhere along the line you forgot to put it back down. Go ahead stand there for 5 minutes with your fist up it will cause stress and strain to your body. Essentially you have been the same thing to your emotions only its probably been years not minutes. Again don’t hold out don’t deal with the easy ones and sweep the hard ones under the rug they will manifest in your life again and again if you do not take the time to deal with them now.

Remember the story of the woman at the well? Just as she perceived Jesus as a prophet and not the messiah somewhere in your life you have perceived incorrectly. Begin to take steps to repair the misconceptions, remove the lies, and most importantly make sure in every area you are allowing Jesus to be the ultimate definition. We can recognize what is broken but if we fix it with something else that is faulty we have set ourselves up for another failure….Jesus has to be messiah (the promised deliver) not prophet (representing the law).

The third and final thing we must deal with to win the fight against depression or lack is the spiritual side of the battle. The medical experts were on the right track when they defined depression as an emotional dejection. Dejection is defined as low spirits.  I fully believe the main reason the medical and psychological fields cannot agree on a cause or a cure for depression is because they are not equipped to deal with nor do most understand the spiritual side.  Isaiah 61 speaks of a garment of praise for the “spirit of heaviness”. We have to understand that there is a spiritual side to this battle and that more often than not if we have excepted and fallen prey to these overwhelming thoughts of lack, heavy oppression, devastating depression to the point we and or others have noticed the change in our daily routines it is likely that there is a demonic influence.  I like the analogy my pastor uses while not holding a microphone he will say this is your flesh, while holding a microphone he will say this is your flesh with help from the devil. There is a distinct difference in the intensity and magnification or the words spoken. When these thought of lack and feelings of depression have become magnified to this point they are getting help from the devil. Remember in 2 Corinthians 10 Paul reminds us that we have divine authority or power? It is time to stand firm in that truth. It is at this point that you must take authority over the spirit of depression and any other spirit of lack that you have uncovered up to this point. Often these may include suicide, addictions, self-pity, generational curses, hate, resentment, unforgiveness, and the list could go on and on. My suggestion would be to find an accountability partner whom you can trust and who is willing to walk with you through this healing process. As you uncover the areas of lack and the reasons behind them they will be able to help keep you honest about the real issues and help point out possible areas where extra prayer and most likely deliverance will be need as well as pray with you regarding these things.

One last thought as you walk out the healing process keep in mind

depression plagues when relation of righteousness, peace, and joy is lost in translation from the pages of scripture to the living of our lives When eating and drinking become the fixation the kingdom no longer a realization but mere translation of words written long ago It remains true to this day the violent take the kingdom by force 
Romans14:17
 Don’t settle to only exist live a life of freedom its worth the fight!

I won’t say it will be easy but I will say it’s worth it. Don’t forget the power or persistence ask, seek, knock always remembering the violent take the kingdom by force don’t be afraid to use force and by all means go into this fight intending to kill something.

I Heard A Voice

I heard a voice, a question testing my affection asking me to look into my reflection.

I stared at the wall staring back at me, what exactly is it that I see, Answering as

honestly as humanly possible I begin to reveal how I truly feel. Looking deep into my

own eyes I saw all the thoughts and pain ever felt hidden by a jaw that refused to

quiver lips locked tightly in a grin of deception lungs having breathed the smoke of

pleasure. Ears having heard the sound of lies tongue having slipped in and out of

speaking doubt, cursing enemies, quick-witted humor. Though behind the eyes

deeper than skin the barriers rarely seen go up again. Deception senses the nearing

attack of truth the looming presence of love shuts its gates to peace and prepares to

defend against righteousness. Fortified in her walls she feels safe though a voice has

spoken beyond her control this voice that creates now determined to destroy the

hold she has so long enjoyed. With quickened heartbeat the blood in my veins

begins to race, pulse-beating mind racing the war inside begins. Raging on inside a

battleground blood soaked tear stained. Souls ears perk up …what’s that heard in

the distance…….. A victory song but before I could finish my final thought the voice

Interjected and corrected this time I heard let me tell you what I see In your eyes I

find compassion, ears that long to hear truth, lungs that reject simple pleasures, a

tongue now restrained a rudder directing, words slow to come carefully chosen

softly spoken. Lips raised in a smirk of hope with knowledge that change has come

and is coming. The voice of a father speaking into existence creating and changing

perception to his reality.  Preparing his chosen for immortality. The battle has been

won the war rages on drums pound to a new beat, one of retreat the enemy lines

begin to break. Retreat, songs of defeat, wails of failure as deceptions armies run

. The painful chords raised high in the air heard only as a beautiful melody in the

ears of one who is now set free.

Borrowed words

Borrowed words and regurgitated revelations filing the spaces in the mind between knowledge and knowing………….. a never ending flow of confusion creating illusion this banter of brain matter the unfortunate path taken to blindly follow never question ever silent afraid to offer even the suggestion that the business of life as usual is no longer an option. Mute thought lays stagnant in the pool of habit.  Fungus grows along the shore a tragic reminder, there is no clean way out of these still waters once welcomed a sign of hope leading to calm pastures the calm after a storm, rest after the battle. Generation after Generation lay in wait slumbering sleeping eyes wide shut battles not fought wars not won. Time passes time the still waters leading to calm pastures once a place of restoration themselves need restored the lush life overtaken by weeds breeds complacency the place of rest never meant for dwelling tranquil ground has become the tranquilizer lulling the inhabitants into a restless sleep never satisfying the need draining only further any energy breaking the chance for synergy One option remains someone anyone please wake up Become obsessed with reformation, regeneration, revival, redemption, remembering the glory of the story once told of a time when waters flowed and green grass grew. Forget the things taught by the ones who never fought seek for yourselves ignoring the jeers when the water flows, grass grows wind begins to again blow the opposition will slow life returned your own still water and calm pastures earned. No longer plagiarized words rearticulated redirect replaced by personal revelation no longer stories of prior visitation personal encounter shatters perceptions now replaced by realities revisited. Spaces once filled by unknown knowing fill by the solid foundation of truth able to sustain and withstand the test and the trials with no shifting no longer will the mind be open to sifting.

My Testimony written for the Vlife web site

The Vlife motto is Live, Love, and Pursue. I hope to

articulate just how dramatically and drastically a

hand full of young adults, living by that motto,

changed my life and quite honestly saved my life.

I guess it has been about 5 years now, since I sat on the

edge of my bed holding my 9 mm pistol.  I remember it vividly.  I had two rounds

loaded and ready. Clutching the pistol, filled with despair, my mind ran out of

control.  I couldn’t take it.  I wanted so badly to pull the trigger, and be done with

the life that I had made for myself.   “What happened?” I had gone from being a

kid with dreams, morals and hope to a desperate, depressed, border-line

alcoholic, now with a loaded pistol ready to end his life. I trembled at the

thought. The thought of being found dead by my friends and family,

admitting to failure. I suppose I gave one last “cry”.  I prayed to God.

“If you are real, if there is more to this life, then I need to know.

I have to know. Otherwise, next time I am pulling the trigger.

” Honestly, I never expected anything to happen. I didn’t think I

would get an answer, but I had to hope in something . . . anything.

Within the next few weeks, I met Jeremy and he invited me to

D 101 (a bible-study).  Reluctantly, I accepted his invitation,

and over the next few months, I encountered Jesus and his Holy Spirit.

This transformed my life! No longer was it about some distant God

and an outdated church. It was real life, with real people, in a real

community living the Gospel. To say I am thankful for Vlife would

be an understatement.  I whole-heartedly believe if not for this

community of young adults, I would either be dead or a full-blown

alcoholic. It is with this confidence that I beg anyone who is looking for

a place to belong, who feels broken beyond repair, or wants to be part of

something bigger than themselves, to come join us and let the transformation begin.

-Adam

Visit    vlife.ws  for more testimonies like this one and to engage with a growing group of young adults eager to bring change if only one person at a time. Join us as we LIVE life to the fullest, learn to LOVE to our fullest and PROGRESS in relationship with one another and God. Welcome to the next generation of disciples as eager, dependent, and expectant as the original 12 !

Suicidal Tendencies

2 Timothy 1:7 King James

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Suicidal tendencies creating dependencies, trying the patients wearing thin the will for survival that most common drive the desire to exist. Speaking lies to the ones who can hear Society names and labels the voices telling the hearer they really have choices not understanding the demand placed or the grip that has grasped the mind and the thoughts If there were only some freedom just a break in the screaming Good days followed by terrifying nights and if the night is held off by the drowning of voices with yet more negative choices the morning will come bringing the voices even louder still only now they have more power haven Taken yet another piece of the will but maybe if you simply never stand still or take a pill now labeled yet undiagnosed until one day some day the day that will undoubtedly  come when the demons who tear down self-esteem the voices teaching only their choices offering fear and causing confusion final offer a way out in the final display of control flaunted over thought life overcome for the last time given over to the tendencies that have become dependencies wrecking the last bit of hope any ability left to cope is no more the only choice left up to the voice what will be the culmination the final act of degradation some may say why does he talk that way and I can explain because I have heard the voice that attempted to take my choice to the point of no return to remove the simple fact that I was born with pistol loaded and mind overcome in an act of desperation I admitted my frustration calling out to God seemed like such a façade after years of suicidal thoughts painful tendencies and worldly dependencies I had found freedom scripture held true and my mind renewed the voices subdued my only regret the time wasted chasing the voices promised relief never found until I was delivered by the blood of the Lamb and given a testimony no longer a coward, good judgment restored  love overflowing all that’s left is the knowing the enemy defeated and the voice has retreated.

Weymouth translation 2 Timothy 1: 7

For the Spirit, which God has given us, is not a spirit of cowardice, but one of power and of love and of sound judgment.

Vanity

Romans 1:21-22 (King James Version)

21Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

Vanity becomes this generation. over runs and chases down what was once a holy nation. A land of SALVATION traded in for hopes and dreams of another kind by those with thoughts from another mind. set in sin and done in the darkness. hidden by words like politics and politeness. these thoughts and ideals have worked their way down from the head to the tail from president to resident of the lowest ghetto. the line between right and wrong though still holding on not so clear now. not so apparent. no longer ARE their black and white, wrong and right. a whole generation of vain imagination. dreaming their dreams and thinking their thoughts, from the angry young man wrapped up in himself ready to fight for what he feels is right. to the young lady who gives of herself freely. it is all that she knows and all that she’s seen from the scandals of leaders to her own mothers bedroom. from tv to movies, riches to rags all the people wrapped up in their man-made steeples. seduced by a mistress unseen and unheard unashamed of her actions this whore of fatal attractions. she can be seen in every unholy action. her ways are futile and self-serving. leaving her lovers broken with little more than a token of her untrue affection for her true lover. her only fear that you will hear the call of salvation casting down her vain IMAGINATION. trading her in for truth and revelation. in understanding your ignorance her powers are broken. your foolishness turned to true WISDOM YOUR heart once in pieces a true love repairs. taking every thought captive your sins another bares and you are now free to derive pleasure once unheard of just out of reach as a lover who truly loves with purest of hearts is now free to teach and to speak into the midst of every situation. you have just become part of a holy generation.

Romans 1:21-22 (Amplified Bible) 21Because when they knew and recognized Him as God, they did not honor and glorify Him as God or give Him thanks. But instead they became futile and ^[a] godless in their thinking [with vain imaginings, foolish reasoning, and stupid speculations] and their senseless minds were darkened.

22Claiming to be wise, they became fools [professing to be smart, they made simpletons of themselves].

Death hath no victory

Death, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting?”

This question I can answer for I have found your victory O death and I feel your sting with every breath.

For your victory has weighed me down and your stinger has buried deep within my heart. Every thought, every breath, every painful step a reminder of your unseen, unheard existence. Resistance becomes harder even impossible the longer you O death keep company with my mind and dig yet deeper the stinger even now so haughtily flaunting the constant reminder of mental anguish that nothing seems to extinguish except for maybe the false hope you have offered of drowning the pain in inebriating the mind to a point of forgetfulness and yes even this still allows the constant reminder. If not more than a dull ache that still causes my heart to break with the understanding that when I wake, as the sun shines across my face Ill be greeted by the reality that you are still the principality that torments me. Lost and tossed from torment to terror. Looking forward, yet again to the sun set and rise of the moon, in darkness again I will hide from you in the one place I think you’ll never look but always seem to find me and now even that hiding place seems to bind me. I think on happier times of another kind when joy came without a price and happiness didn’t seem to laugh just out of reach. Instead I sit here as the devils cheer.  It has become so clear in ending it all with a single blow I seem to know that the pain will stop. Your sting be removed and your victory somehow final will haut me no longer. However stronger I hear a second voice now. But how has this still small voice broken through? Talk of a true sea of forgetfulness not just a temporary abyss of false hope from a state of unadulterated inebriation that has overcome a generation maybe even a nation. This other voice from the creator of all creation brings a confusing truth an unclear clarity of a life saving charity. Once again I am empowered. Once lost now found. Once bound now free. Once overcome by the oppressor now an over comer by the blood of a sacrificial lamb and the power of a testimony. Understanding comes and sheds light on the confusion and truth makes way for healing from pain once felt and lies once believed. To death I apologize for now I have achieved the knowledge needed. Where you had victory now you fall in defeat and where your stinger caused anguish pain no longer remains. As I am changed forever by life and by love coming from one who sits on a throne high above. SO now I say with a smile … 1 Corinthians 15:55 O death, where is thy sting? – Which once was full of hellish poison. O hades, the receptacle of separate souls, where is thy victory – Thou art now robbed of all thy spoils; all thy captives are set at liberty.